Comments on: How much is too much? http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/ Blogs from Rachael Ray and her friends Mon, 21 May 2012 07:36:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Crystal http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-11561 Crystal Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:11:03 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-11561 Hi, Life is about choices. We have 4 children aged 10,8,6 &5. We offer choices of two activities or sports that run similatously time wise. The choices also are affected by location, and time allotted for every one.We do this for each season of the year. The expense of accomodating more than this is truly unrealistic to most family budgets. In life, we too must make choices; realistically speaking, one is not going to know what your child is interested in, and offering choices is the best solution. You may not be able to put your child in every lesson possible- but then, do we also expect our children to know everything about their future adult life in childhood. No. We simply give options, direction and do the best we can. The choice is theirs. And as adults, we sometimes decide that things we did as a child were not relevant as an adult, so we chose to do sometimes something different. We are no less a person because of it. And in the end, we have given the most we can for our children. Its when we over do it, so that nothing is really enjoyed that is the truly negative result we do not want. A good rule of thumb is, if you think you are doing too much- you probably are. . . Hi,

Life is about choices. We have 4 children aged 10,8,6 &5. We offer choices of two activities or sports that run similatously time wise. The choices also are affected by location, and time allotted for every one.We do this for each season of the year. The expense of accomodating more than this is truly unrealistic to most family budgets. In life, we too must make choices; realistically speaking, one is not going to know what your child is interested in, and offering choices is the best solution. You may not be able to put your child in every lesson possible- but then, do we also expect our children to know everything about their future adult life in childhood. No. We simply give options, direction and do the best we can. The choice is theirs. And as adults, we sometimes decide that things we did as a child were not relevant as an adult, so we chose to do sometimes something different. We are no less a person because of it. And in the end, we have given the most we can for our children. Its when we over do it, so that nothing is really enjoyed that is the truly negative result we do not want. A good rule of thumb is, if you think you are doing too much- you probably are. . .

]]> By: Crystal http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8451 Crystal Thu, 21 Aug 2008 05:05:15 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8451 I am 17 years old and I agree with Therie on what she says. From 10 years old to 16, i was in a Jujitsu class that i liked only for about the first two years and after that, i really DIDN'T like it, but my parents made me go even though they knew i pretty much hated it, because they wanted me to stick to something. Another thing, is when i was in fifth grade i was overschedualed. I had choir, band, Juijitsu, piano and school and most of these happened almost everyday. Luckily choir and band were at my school, but that still required practice after school, but Jujitsu and piano were after school as well, so i was exhausted from these activities plus school and homework. I quit piano and choir, but i liked band, but i was forced to quit. When a kid wants to take something, let them, if they don't like it, let them quit. They're still trying things out and at 17, i still am. I am interested in Kendo, but i'm sure my parents wouldn't be into it because i quit everything else, even though back then i was still trying it out. Kids should have the freedom to choose what they want to do (within reason). If your kid wants to do ballet, but wants to quit, say, soccer. Let them. They will thank you for it later on and it will save a lot of family arguments and anger, not to mention stress. We know more then you give us credit for, so go with it please. I am 17 years old and I agree with Therie on what she says. From 10 years old to 16, i was in a Jujitsu class that i liked only for about the first two years and after that, i really DIDN’T like it, but my parents made me go even though they knew i pretty much hated it, because they wanted me to stick to something.
Another thing, is when i was in fifth grade i was overschedualed. I had choir, band, Juijitsu, piano and school and most of these happened almost everyday. Luckily choir and band were at my school, but that still required practice after school, but Jujitsu and piano were after school as well, so i was exhausted from these activities plus school and homework. I quit piano and choir, but i liked band, but i was forced to quit. When a kid wants to take something, let them, if they don’t like it, let them quit. They’re still trying things out and at 17, i still am. I am interested in Kendo, but i’m sure my parents wouldn’t be into it because i quit everything else, even though back then i was still trying it out. Kids should have the freedom to choose what they want to do (within reason). If your kid wants to do ballet, but wants to quit, say, soccer. Let them. They will thank you for it later on and it will save a lot of family arguments and anger, not to mention stress. We know more then you give us credit for, so go with it please.

]]> By: Marla http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8244 Marla Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:24:40 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8244 I have four children and I completely agree with Ginny. There is only so much children can handle, and it is ok for them to be bored and be given the time to entertain themselves. I also have four children 10,8,3,1, and there is a level of stress that is not necessary to place on the family as a whole. Take time to enjoy the family while they are still around to enjoy each other. Let them experience life, but also, let them experience family and personal time as well. I have four children and I completely agree with Ginny. There is only so much children can handle, and it is ok for them to be bored and be given the time to entertain themselves. I also have four children 10,8,3,1, and there is a level of stress that is not necessary to place on the family as a whole. Take time to enjoy the family while they are still around to enjoy each other. Let them experience life, but also, let them experience family and personal time as well.

]]> By: Ginny http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8187 Ginny Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:59:10 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8187 Hi, I am a mother of four children and I certainly feel your pain! My husband travels constantly so I am the primary chauffer in our household. What I have told my children is that they are only allowed to be in two activities per season. One activity is Boy Scouts and that is firm. The other they choose themselves. It has worked so far- my kids are 12,10,8 and 6. The only exception is my third son- he has a passion for both swimming and karate and he excels at both. I allowed him to do both so long as his grades didn't suffer. He did well. He took the summer off from swimming to play both in-house and tournament baseball. Remember, kids need time OFF to just vegetate. It's ok for them to be bored, watch tv, hang out and play video games. My kids love to run around the woods and neighborhood with their friends and catch all sorts of "critters". Keep in mind how you feel running around all the time- the stress that you feel. Is that fair to put the same stress on an 8 year old? One other thing- Summer is a great time to try some different activities. Our town has golf lessons, day camps that offer a tremendous range of things to try. We even have a scrapbook store that has classes for kids! So take a breather and do not feel that you have to "keep up with the Jones's" when it comes to activities for your kids. You and your brood will be happier in the long run. Hi,
I am a mother of four children and I certainly feel your pain! My husband travels constantly so I am the primary chauffer in our household.
What I have told my children is that they are only allowed to be in two activities per season. One activity is Boy Scouts and that is firm. The other they choose themselves.
It has worked so far- my kids are 12,10,8 and 6.
The only exception is my third son- he has a passion for both swimming and karate and he excels at both.
I allowed him to do both so long as his grades didn’t suffer. He did well. He took the summer off from swimming to play both in-house and tournament baseball.

Remember, kids need time OFF to just vegetate. It’s ok for them to be bored, watch tv, hang out and play video games. My kids love to run around the woods and neighborhood with their friends and catch all sorts of “critters”.

Keep in mind how you feel running around all the time- the stress that you feel. Is that fair to put the same stress on an 8 year old?

One other thing- Summer is a great time to try some different activities. Our town has golf lessons, day camps that offer a tremendous range of things to try. We even have a scrapbook store that has classes for kids!

So take a breather and do not feel that you have to “keep up with the Jones’s” when it comes to activities for your kids. You and your brood will be happier in the long run.

]]> By: Therie http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8162 Therie Sun, 10 Aug 2008 04:53:13 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8162 Well, i think its up to the kids though.its not good forcing them to do what they dont like. Well, i think its up to the kids though.its not good forcing them to do what they dont like.

]]> By: audra http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8134 audra Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:36:10 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8134 What about school?? Shouldn't this be the number one activity!! If kids are involved in to many activities the will get tired, stressed out and not have time for homework. With a lot of activities there is no family time or bored time. Kids need to be bored sometimes so they can create and play. They need to know how to entertain themselves. One or two activities is more than enough. If school work falls the activities need to go. We are a country that talks about valuing education but we never put it first. What about school?? Shouldn’t this be the number one activity!! If kids are involved in to
many activities the will get tired, stressed out and not have time for homework. With a lot of activities there is no family time or bored time. Kids need to be bored sometimes so they can create and play. They need to know how to entertain themselves. One or two activities is more than enough. If school work falls the activities need to go. We are a country that talks about valuing education but we never put it first.

]]> By: Tasha http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8091 Tasha Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:53:32 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8091 I really do believe that in our society that parents and children are overscheduled. I allow the children to have one activity ( they get to choose ) at a time so there is time for homework, rest and family sit down meals. I make a habit of having at least 5 sit down family meals a week. I make our schedule structured and post a dry erase calendar in our dining room so that we can all write down our activities for the month and it helps us not to overschedule ( at least most of the time ). It also leaves everyone to be accountable for not scheduling something and having to be at two places at once. I believe focusing on one activity at a time helps them focus on that one thing and not be too overwhelmed with having to make time to work on the others. I really do believe that in our society that parents and children are overscheduled. I allow the children to have one activity ( they get to choose ) at a time so there is time for homework, rest and family sit down meals. I make a habit of having at least 5 sit down family meals a week. I make our schedule structured and post a dry erase calendar in our dining room so that we can all write down our activities for the month and it helps us not to overschedule ( at least most of the time ). It also leaves everyone to be accountable for not scheduling something and having to be at two places at once. I believe focusing on one activity at a time helps them focus on that one thing and not be too overwhelmed with having to make time to work on the others.

]]> By: Jane http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8086 Jane Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:58:36 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8086 I have 4 school-age kids and scheduling activities is a nightmare. They all want to try everything, and June this year I was wiped out and had moody, miserable kids and family time/downtime was non-existant. I refuse to put my family through this any longer. Starting this Fall, homework is the top priority and everything has to fit in around it. I'm limiting each child to one activity, otherwise it's impossible for us. I have 4 school-age kids and scheduling activities is a nightmare. They all want to try everything, and June this year I was wiped out and had moody, miserable kids and family time/downtime was non-existant. I refuse to put my family through this any longer. Starting this Fall, homework is the top priority and everything has to fit in around it. I’m limiting each child to one activity, otherwise it’s impossible for us.

]]> By: Ana http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8039 Ana Wed, 06 Aug 2008 15:21:51 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-8039 I have three kids, two boys ages 15 and 8, and a girl age 5. My husband and I agreed early on that we would limit activities to three for each child and would consider more if they occured with less frequency, ie monthly or biweekly or if all of them could do it at the same time. This is our first year with all the kids going to school full-time and all of them are in transitional grades. That means that there will be more homework, more responsibility and more vigilance from me to keep them on track. Both my boys are on the local swim team and gymnastics. The older one will also be taking art lessons and the younger one will continue with violin lessons. Number two is also in Cub Scouts but our den only meets once a month. Little One is in ballet, cheer dance, gymnastics and Daisy Scouts (which also meets once a month). The trick to it all is that she is doing these things while big brothers swim right next door. Otherwise, she wouldn't get to do it all. We made sure that those activities occur between 3:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. That allows us to have a sit-down family dinners and get the little ones to bed by 8:00 p.m. Also, I made sure to budget appropriate homework time every day for the kids: 15 minutes for the Kindergartener, 45 mins for the 3rd grader, and 1 hr for the 8th grader. Even if there is no homework, they are to go over notes, read, practice handwriting, whatever is needed to keep them in the habit of studying. The other thing that my husband and I made sure we gave the kids when making the schedule was free time every day to decompress, to play with friends or whatever else they choose. It was a tall order to fit all of that into the week but we did it, leaving weekends free for the family. As far as exposing kids to all manner of things and activities, well, we decided to give ourselves a chance to get to know the strengths and likes of each child before plunging them into a sport or activity. For the 15 year old, it took us a long while. The others, less so. The way we look at it is, we can guide them to something they are good at when they are little so that they feel good at accomplishing and doing their best. As they mature, we can support them finding and exploring new ventures, having had the experience already of being successful at something else. And I believe that is a better lesson than putting them in tons of different activities, never sticking long enough to see if success can be attained. I have three kids, two boys ages 15 and 8, and a girl age 5. My husband and I agreed early on that we would limit activities to three for each child and would consider more if they occured with less frequency, ie monthly or biweekly or if all of them could do it at the same time.
This is our first year with all the kids going to school full-time and all of them are in transitional grades. That means that there will be more homework, more responsibility and more vigilance from me to keep them on track.
Both my boys are on the local swim team and gymnastics. The older one will also be taking art lessons and the younger one will continue with violin lessons. Number two is also in Cub Scouts but our den only meets once a month. Little One is in ballet, cheer dance, gymnastics and Daisy Scouts (which also meets once a month). The trick to it all is that she is doing these things while big brothers swim right next door. Otherwise, she wouldn’t get to do it all.
We made sure that those activities occur between 3:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. That allows us to have a sit-down family dinners and get the little ones to bed by 8:00 p.m. Also, I made sure to budget appropriate homework time every day for the kids: 15 minutes for the Kindergartener, 45 mins for the 3rd grader, and 1 hr for the 8th grader. Even if there is no homework, they are to go over notes, read, practice handwriting, whatever is needed to keep them in the habit of studying.
The other thing that my husband and I made sure we gave the kids when making the schedule was free time every day to decompress, to play with friends or whatever else they choose. It was a tall order to fit all of that into the week but we did it, leaving weekends free for the family.
As far as exposing kids to all manner of things and activities, well, we decided to give ourselves a chance to get to know the strengths and likes of each child before plunging them into a sport or activity. For the 15 year old, it took us a long while. The others, less so. The way we look at it is, we can guide them to something they are good at when they are little so that they feel good at accomplishing and doing their best. As they mature, we can support them finding and exploring new ventures, having had the experience already of being successful at something else. And I believe that is a better lesson than putting them in tons of different activities, never sticking long enough to see if success can be attained.

]]> By: Hannah http://www.rachaelray.com/blogs/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-7878 Hannah Sat, 02 Aug 2008 20:30:53 +0000 http://blog.rachaelray.com/index.php/2008/07/29/how-much-is-too-much/#comment-7878 I am also 13 years old and I'm very busy. I do school volleyball, basketball, and softball. I also do traveling volleyball and basketball which takes up every weekend for about 4 months. I also take piano lessons year round and I'm in the band at my school. I also find plenty of time for other activities. I think that kids should have a say for how much they want to do because I love being busy. A couple of years ago I even threw in gymnastics and swimming to the mix. I knew then that it was getting to be to much and so i told my parent's and they had me finish the year and then i didn't sign up next year. Trust me if your kids think they are too busy they will tell you or you will know by the way they are acting. I am also 13 years old and I’m very busy. I do school volleyball, basketball, and softball. I also do traveling volleyball and basketball which takes up every weekend for about 4 months. I also take piano lessons year round and I’m in the band at my school. I also find plenty of time for other activities. I think that kids should have a say for how much they want to do because I love being busy. A couple of years ago I even threw in gymnastics and swimming to the mix. I knew then that it was getting to be to much and so i told my parent’s and they had me finish the year and then i didn’t sign up next year. Trust me if your kids think they are too busy they will tell you or you will know by the way they are acting.

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