My parents - actually this was my mother’s department - were sticklers for thank you notes. I had to write them within a few days and I distinctly remember being grounded right after my high school graduation because I hadn’t completed my thank you notes - for days if not weeks. The result? Call me old fashioned but I now am a stickler for thank you notes with my kids.
I am not talking about an email but a pen (or marker or crayon or pencil) and a piece of paper and a few personal comments expressing gratitude for someone thinking of them. I have insisted on notes from the very beginning and now they barely put up a fight - should my kids protest, I remind them that the during time it took them to complain they could have whipped off one or two. When they were little I would buy the printed notes where they would fill in the blanks - i.e., “Dear _______, thank you for the ______.” One year my daughter printed out a form letter on the computer that she personalized for each person. This was not smiled upon by certain family members, yet I thought it was kind of clever. However, next time around, I put the kibosh on that practice.
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Now the traditional rule of thumb is if you open the gift in the presence of the gift presenter and thank them at that time, you do not need to send a written thank you. I don’t follow that rule but ask my kids to write a note to each person who took the time to give them a gift. I can’t tell you how many people have told me, and them, that they appreciate their brief thanks.
My mom recently came across some of my old thank you notes I had written to my grandparents when I was a teenager. I have to say, they were lovely - a little over the top - but so appreciated that they were saved for over 20 years. I hope my kids continue this tradition.
Do you have your kids write thank you notes?
01.05.12 @ 10:09 am
Yes I have 5 children and they write thank you notes.
01.05.12 @ 10:28 am
Watching your program other day. So proud to see a cooking woman’s countertop in the kitchen. It was totally clean of decorative objects and junk like average countertops have. That’s the countertop of a professional cooking woman! Keep on keeping on. You can always have plenty of room to work on and no junk in the way.
01.05.12 @ 10:24 pm
My kids MUST write thank you notes. I wrote them as a child (I absolutely hated it!) but I did…and it is the right thing to do. I get so upset when I take the time out of my incredibly busy schedule…..spend my money on gifts and wrapping paper or gift bag and card..(it all adds up!! ) and the person does not bother to have their child write some sort of thank you note. It is completely and totally rude.Writing thank you notes really teaches children that they need to be grateful for things that they receive and not to just expect a gift. I am always completely offended when I don’t receive thank you notes…but when I do…it makes my day that someone took the time to appreciate my gift (even though they were probably grunting the entire time they wrote it!!!) lol!
01.05.12 @ 10:38 pm
I wish everyone was thoughtful enough to send thank you cards. I actually received a phone call to ask if I had sent my grandkids there giftcards as they had not been received more than a week before Christmas. However I have never received a thank you card or note or even a phone call. Perhaps next year I will send them all a box of thank you notes and and explaination as to what they are for.
01.06.12 @ 8:00 am
I agree with KJ, it only takes a minute to place a call of Thanks not even a stamp, but they never turn down the gifts now do they—- what is a person to do, stop all together, maybe I will next year.
01.06.12 @ 1:37 pm
My kids also help write b-day cards, anniversary cards and other cards we write for those in the church, including get well, congrats, etc. People let the kids know they appreciate them signing the cards. When others see it they appreciate it and think that is sweet. If they don’t sign the cards I hear about it from certain people in the church.
01.23.12 @ 1:26 pm
Thank you for writing on this subject. I send gifts to my nieces and nephews who live out of state and never know, until i am forced to ask ,if they were received or lost in the mail. Even then sometimes I don’t get even an email response. Children should be taught to say thank you both verbally and in the written word. And if someone has taught a child to say thank you, adults should respect that practice and just say ” you’re welcome”, not “Oh they don’t have to say that”. We all have to be supportive of each other when teaching children social graces.
01.23.12 @ 2:35 pm
I think that thank you notes are not as popular as they were when I was a child. My children do thank you notes and I can see the appreciation in people when they open it up and look at my children. My kids really like the attention after passing them out. I hope that they pass it on to their kids someday.