The Deep Freeze

We have a smallish fridge/freezer in our kitchen because of a space restriction. My hubbie and I have always talked about getting a second unit and putting it in the basement for the overflow of food we seem to have. This conversation has been going on for years , partly because we disagree on how much food should be kept in a house on a regular basis. I grew up in a family where when you opened the fridge, food would practically knock you over, it was so packed full of everything from fresh veggies, fruit and dairy, to every kind of leftover. My mom would even save the leftover salad, which I never understood. As soon as dinner is over, that lettuce is wilted, but I guess my dad kind of liked the wilted lettuce so there it would go, in the fridge, along with whatever else we didn’t finish. A half a chicken breast here, a cup of rice there, etc. Nothing in Tupperware, either. Everything was in plates or bowls with Saran Wrap, piled on top of each other.

My husband is of the opposite mindset. He likes to keep on hand just the right amount of food to get through that day or maybe the next day. We had enough food to get us through the winter, in my house, but this very thought bewilders my husband. Now that he and I have built our own family, we have sort of a compromise going on, but there is one thing we agree on-we don’t like to waste food. Granted, I’ll keep a leftover around a little longer than he will, but we both think throwing food away is a sin.

We’re also kind of getting healthier and doing the whole organic thing. Recently, in fact, he found a farm that would sell us part of a cow. The idea makes me shudder (part of a cow?) but in fact, it will save us money and will be right from an organic farm. The question is, where do we put it? Here’s where my husband got all manly and burly. He decided to buy a “deep freeze.” I voted for another fridge/freezer unit, thinking I could use the extra fridge space for my diet sodas and big casseroles and cheese platters when hosting holiday dinners. Being that he can’t understand any of this, before I knew it, the deep freeze idea had won (I guess I have to give in on some things!). Somehow, the deep freeze is a guy thing, like grills are a guy thing.

So he goes and buys the deep freeze, which of course, can’t fit through our doorway. I suggested it go in the garage, with the other manly things, but my husband’s face suddenly looked stricken with horror-the thought that something might distrupt the feng shui of his garage space! But in the end, it was a good idea and afterall, it had nowhere else to go. “Okay, it goes in the garage,” my husband said “but don’t touch it.” I love it! Don’t touch the deep freeze because it’s his! It’s for him and his cow! I think maybe he’s secretly afraid I’ll accidentally open it and throw him in there with the cow!

Too funny. So of course, I had to go see what was going on in there. So I snuck to the garage with the keys, yes it has keys. Why does it have keys? Was this thing made for a dead body storage or what? Either that or it was created by Weight Watchers! Anyway, I unlocked the thing, it’s a beast, really. It’s as big as a Prius. I peered in and what do I see, besides mostly empty space (the cow has not arrived yet)? Ice cream. This is my husband’s big secret. He’s got a gallon of Haagen Daaz in there like he was hiding an affair. I quietly locked it back up, put the keys away and never breathed a word about it. Well, except to you.

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Rachael Ray